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i have felt
by trolly @ 01 Sep. 2006 - 18:24:50

very badly stressed today.

i guess it was going to be assessed at the counselling centre.

and as i'm driving in, i'm saying, mustn't cry, mustn't cry.

two seconds through the door, hi...etc... and am a

gibbering

wreck.

i am stressed to my very core:

i feel stress grasping my face.

i feel it tight across my brow

and stretched along my cheek bones.

it scratches, pulls, runs inside my blood.

it hogs my thoughts, and fucks about with

who i am.

it's a possession.

but today was me

serving

an

eviction

notice.

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alecwestonalecweston pro
01/09/06 @ 18:33

(I was Commenting on the last one, while you were posting this)

Don't mean to say anything out of turn, but it sounds as if you are being very hard on yourself alec

| Show this thread
trollytrolly pro
02/09/06 @ 20:03

i'm all over the place, to be honest.

i have never known stress like this.

it gave me some scant cheer when the counsellor i saw said, sounds like just what i went through...

trolly x

| Show this thread |
alecwestonalecweston pro
02/09/06 @ 20:26

It's so easy to say 'comforting' words at a distance and not knowing, in depth, what is stressing you. I do know, though, from experience, that one of the worst things about stress is how it can overwhelm you and smother all your other emotions. It feels so here and now. And it's unlikely to be 'just in your head'.

On the other hand, from what you have written in your posts and comments since I have reading them, you have a lot of strength and wit and intelligence. I'm no cockeyed-optimist, but I have a feeling these and other qualities of yours will help you pull through.

I hope none of this sounds glib. x alec

| Show this thread |
trollytrolly pro
02/09/06 @ 20:48

no, not glib. not at all.

and thanks.

one of these day's i'll write about it.

ha!

or write about writing about it....

:-)

[feel better already]

trolly x

|
suzeemoonsuzeemoon [Member]
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
01/09/06 @ 21:12

Beautifully expressed as always, so lots still in working order ;)
Sometimes we need to let the distress manifest itself before we can move on.

| Show this thread
trollytrolly pro
02/09/06 @ 20:04

thnx, suzee. i've got to get it out; get it off my back.

[did you make your crumble, yet?]

:-)

trolly x

| Show this thread |
suzeemoonsuzeemoon [Member]
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
03/09/06 @ 15:12

lol I think you're confusing me with my cousin...

|
bacupbacup [Member]
01/09/06 @ 21:17

Good luck.

| Show this thread
trollytrolly pro
02/09/06 @ 20:05

thanks. really.

trolly x

|
husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
04/09/06 @ 17:19

I've also booked in for a counselling session on Thursday... but can't help wondering, what's the point, I don't even know where to start.In my case I KNOW all the problems are my own fault and aren't about external circumstances. No matter what I do, I'm still f*cked up.
But I hope there's hope for you...
Take care of yourself.
Bel/Mel

| Show this thread
trollytrolly pro
04/09/06 @ 18:01

i go back a week tomorrow. i'm hoping it will help, i really do need to get back to where i was a couple of years ago before all of this kicked off at work.

what i am hoping is that it is going to help me make a new start. as am feeling a bit all over the place.

and i hope your session goes well.

trolly x

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